Smog Life

Some of you might remember this post from my old blog Lemon Life. I am not that ego-centric that I am paying homage to myself a year or so later. I just wanted to reference this posting when I add that I noticed that "Bret" is now an Executive Producer out here and I noticed his name as such in a Dane Cook comedy special on HBO. Just to think that if he had missed the opportunity his life might be completely different

I heard the news about Oliver Stone’s arrest it reminded me of my own Oliver Stone drug story. It isn’t really mine per se, but at least I heard it first hand.

A few years back I went to the University of Iowa. I was dating at the time an aspiring film director. His movies were weird and deep and he was a GINORMOUS asshole. I was the muse for a lot of his movies and I should have known that when in one of them I met a violent end that it was going to be over soon.

Anyway, one of the years I was there, Oliver Stone came to speak at the University. The entire film department was in a buzz because he was there, even my boyfriend who previously thought Oliver Stone was becoming “too commercial.” Mr. Stone’s schedule included speaking during some of the classes about his craft, giving a talk to the public and immediately following the talk a late dinner with some of the students in the film club who helped to bring him there. I can’t remember now if my ex-boyfriend had gone. (I have mostly succeeded in blocking him out completely.) I do remember that one of his friends had gone though. His friend was very New York, blunt and pushy, I always told him that he would make a good producer. In fact that is what I think he is doing now.

This is what the friend had related to us about the dinner. Firstly, Mr. Stone was very late even though they had all left at the same time. If any of you know Iowa City you know that it is not that big. It honestly does not take that long to get from the main campus to the Pedestrian Mall. Anyway when he finally arrived at the restaurant to meet the anxious awestricken students he was completely obliterated. The friend wasn’t sure on what exactly what but was pretty sure coke was in the mix. The students were all pretty disappointed because although Mr. Stone was in their presence, he just wasn’t all that easy to talk to. Bret with his fuck it anyway attitude decided that he was not going to have this be a wasted opportunity for him and decided that although the conversation would definatly be one sided he was going to talk to one of his idols. The conversation between the two to me is now shady, but I do remember that Mr. Stone did give him his card with his personal office phone number on it.

A few months later after graduation he decided to use the card to his advantage. Here is what the conversation was like. (I wasn’t there and it has been a long time but the outcome will ultimately be the same)

He begins by speaking to the secretary and explains who he is:
“How did he get this number?” He can hear Oliver whisper to his secretary.
“How did you get this number?”
“I am one of the students that he met at the University of Iowa event. He gave me his card.”
“He says that you gave him his card.”
He can hear Mr. Stone muttering to himself. Basically the conclusion is that he cannot remember. The conversation between the secretary and Mr. Stone is loud enough for Brian to hear that fact.
“I want to talk to him about the internship that he offered me.”
“internship?”
Mr. Stone gets on the phone at this point.
“Oh, hi. Hi Bret, yeah I remember you.”
“Hi, I am calling about the internship that you offered me. I just finished school at the University of Iowa and am giving you a call like you suggested.”
They end up talking for a bit.
“Oh, yeah that’s right. Well, we will get you set up then. I will pass you back to my secretary and we will see you soon.”

Because he cannot remember, Bret ends up getting the internship with Mr. Stone that summer. Yes, he did trick Mr. Stone into giving him an internship. But if you show up somewhere completely blitzed in front of a bunch of hungry film students you kind of deserve it.

If you have recently moved to Los Angeles, like myself, I would like to give you some ice breaker advice. The one question that will ultimately start a conversation here is:

Where are you from?

The truth is that the vast majority of people in Los Angeles are not from Los Angeles. For example take a concentrated population like the people I work with. (The only time I will mention work in my blog) 6 people out of 21 are actually from Los Angeles and one of those lived in Colombia for the majority of her life. The others are:

Idaho, Nebraska, Orange County (people assure me that this is bery different from Los Angeles), South Africa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Hawaii, Michigan, Viet Nam, Brooklyn and Ohio.

The fact is that I have met very few people who are native to this huge city.

This question I assure you will start a whole list of others like:

Why did you move to L.A.?
How long have you been here?
I am new here where are some decent places to hang out?

Another thing that shocked me about asking this one questions is that here people actually elaborate. (Shocker)

If I asked this question in Minnesota:
Oh, where are you from? Eden Praire
Originally? yes
What do you do? I work at General Mills.

This usually end our conversation becasue a) what I am supposed to do with one word answers and b) No one from Minnesota will actually ask you those same questions back.

If I ask this question here, I goes a lot different.

Where are you from? I am from Kentucky.
How long have you been here? Well I came out here in 98 for college and never really left.
What do you do? Right now I am trying to get into the acting game but I also nanny for this rich family in Bel Air. They let me go out on auditions whenever I want and it is really great.

Are you new you L.A.? Where are you from and what are you doing here?
email me Smog Life

Sorry, I took a bit of a break. I hate doing it, but being new to this town still after nine months I needed to do some exploring. I also had to suffer through the Corrections for Book Club discussion. I'll be back on track shortly.

high in Minneapolis 34
high in Los Angeles 74

If you found me again or are reading me for the first time drop me a line at smoglifemail@yahoo.com

This weekend I am assisting with a short film. My posting will be infrequent until Monday.

Song Stuck in My Head: Debra by Beck. (The P.A. on the film's name is Debra)

A helpful hint from someone who has recently moved to a city 10 times larger than the last city she lived in; buy an NFT (Not For Tourists) guide. The NFT guide has saved my life many a time. I just wish I had the NFT guide before visiting the Santa Monica Pier Park bathrooms. Declared by me and the NFT guide as the worst bathrooms in the continental United States. If they had a contest for the worst this would get the blue ribbon prize.

The NFT guide is also great for locating Wells Fargo Banks because it costs you $4.00 to take out YOUR OWN MONEY at a non Wells ATM. Also to find Coffee Beans when you are addicted to their Chai Lattes on ice.

I know, I know the NFT guide does show you some very touristy or trendy places to go in the neighborhoods, but there is always Laist to turn to or Daily Candy Which both have nation wide and sometimes world wide affiliates.

Treat William from the Blogs I Heart really isn’t gone. He has changed into THREE MINUTE RECORD

Here’s to new places and new aliases. Cheers!

Little things about Los Angeles are weird to me, like that they have flat screen televisions in all of their city busses. These televisions do not play primetime television but a special loop of metro line programming. I found myself mesmerized by the amount of times that the television screen thanked us for being riders, that they provided national weather programming, I learned that the coup in Thailand is bad for international business and how to make beef stroganoff, until this woman with a really big head sat infront of me.

So, if you would like to know what the weather is like in Kansas City or if you were wondering how your stocks were doing just jump on a Metro. It only costs a $1.25.

www.mta.net

Disclaimer: Not all of the songs that get stuck in my head are songs that I particularly like. Oftentimes they are songs that I do not like. For example, I have "Angels" as covered by Jessica Simpson stuck in my head because I heard it in the grocery store an hour ago.

The song "Angels" reminds me of the VH1 show I wanted to have called "When Remakes go Awry" That is songs that were better in their orginal form and should not be altered with. Not that "Angels" is a particularly great song, but I'll take Robbie Williams over Jessica Simpson any day.

Songs that I would have featured on my VH1 show would be: (Not in any particular order)

"Waiting in Vain" covered by Annie Lennox originally by Bob Marley
"Love Song" covered by 311 orignally by The Cure
"Train in Vain" covered by Annie Lennox originally by The Clash
"Lady Marmalade" covered by Christina Aguilera, Pink, Maya and Lil' Kim originally by Patti LaBelle
"I saw her/him standing there" covered by Tiffany orginally by The Beatles

This is just the few that have popped into my head. Let me know what your submissions would be smoglifemail@yahoo.com .